Ethan Ervin Huckbody

So today marks the one month anniversary of our little baby boy's birth, and so I figured I would post a little something about his story.

I had gone into the clinic just to listen to his little heartbeat, because I hadn't felt him move much the day before. I didn't think much of it, but they couldn't find his heartbeat with the Doppler or with an ultrasound. Instead they found a pinched umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, thus cutting off his blood and oxygen supply. Our little baby was no longer with us, but instead with his Heavenly Father.

Our doctor scheduled an inducement for later that day, so we headed up to the hospital to wait. They checked me and I was 4cm dilated and 80% effaced...so I was pretty much in labor already and didn't even know it. They broke my water and started me on Pitocin. I didn't start feeling any contractions until I was around 5 1/2, 6cm dilated. I had planned on having an unmedicated labor and delivery, but with the Pitocin, I decided on an epidural around 7cm. An hour later I was ready to push and two hours after that, at 10:06 pm on November 8th, our darling boy was born. Overall is was a practically perfect delivery, with minimal tearing and everything going smoothly and without any kind of complication.

Ethan was 7lbs. 10oz. and 20 1/2 inches long. He was a beautiful little baby boy. The nurses cleaned him up and put him in a little outfit and brought him back to Joseph and I. We got to hold him and cherish what time we could have with him. He had my nose and lips, and overall just looked a lot like his momma. He was a perfect little guy. I got to watch Joseph hold his son and fall asleep with him on his chest like he had always dreamed of doing one day. It broke my heart knowing this was the only time he would be able to do that with Ethan. Joseph was even able to give little Ethan a name and a blessing with the help of our bishop.

Both of us shed many tears over our little boy. We had grown to love him so much throughout my pregnancy, and our love for him has continued to grow. We are so thankful for the time we had with him and the memories we were able to make. We are thankful for the opportunity we had to provide a body for him, and we are also super thankful for the privilege of still being his parents from now throughout all eternity. We know that we will be able to be with him again as a family, for that I am most grateful.

Both Joseph and I have grown a lot throughout this past month. We have learned to really rely and trust in our Heavenly Father and his son, Jesus Christ, our Savior. We are grateful for the gift of our Savior's atonement, and the immense healing it has been able to bring us. We know that the Plan of Salvation is there to bless families, and through that plan we know that we can continue to be a forever family. We are thankful for the holy temple and the wonderful blessings we are able to receive through the covenants we make there.

I would also like to say how blessed Joseph and I are to have such wonderful friends and family members that have been there with us the entire time. Thank you so much for all of the prayers and thoughts on our behalf, we have felt every single one of them and they have helped us so much.

Joseph and I refuse to look at this as a loss, because we know that we have not lost Ethan, not really. We just didn't get as much time with him here in this life, but we know that we will one day get to hold him again and love him. Both of us look forward to that day with great joy and excitement.

We are doing very well, and are moving forward with faith and trusting the Lord to lead us to where we need to be.